Resisting the idea of a wedding involves several considerations for me. Firstly, I have always been averse to being the center of attention since childhood. Secondly, managing the involvement of family and friends is not my forte. While I do have a certain degree of vanity and desire for recognition, being praised or suddenly becoming the focus in any situation makes me extremely uncomfortable. This discomfort has been consistent throughout my life.
Unlike some friends who fear or resent interactions among blood relatives, my issue lies specifically with the act of inviting various distant relatives and friends to a wedding. It has become a significant psychological burden for me.
Nevertheless, there are certain events that one cannot avoid, and a wedding is one of them. My wife and I went through a phase of planning and deliberation. Initially, my mother was supportive, seemingly respecting our wishes. However, as the wedding date approached, and both sets of parents had a serious discussion, we realized the difficulty in avoiding a traditional wedding or even organizing a simple ceremony.
Through this process, my wife and I gradually understood the distinct roles of the groom and bride in a wedding, a perspective that is hard to comprehend by watching TV dramas or observing others. Being the only son and the eldest in our respective families, our parents, who had spent half their lives in a small town, saw the wedding ceremony as a milestone. Although our friends were a minority at the wedding, with more relatives and parents’ friends in attendance, we became the prerequisites for this ceremony, yet not absolute protagonists.
The preparation for a wedding is an incredibly complex undertaking. Alongside the integration of weddings in the local community, a complicated process has formed, with each sub-process becoming an “indispensable” part. This event is not something a couple or a small family can handle alone. The atmosphere created by the support of a large family makes the process feel warm. Consequently, it becomes clear that marriage is not merely a matter for two individuals but marks the beginning of communication between two large families.
With the support of a large family, the days leading up to the wedding were unexpectedly relaxed for my wife and me. Apart from trying on clothes and introducing our families, there were not many other tasks that only we could handle. It felt like a long-awaited vacation, almost like the joy of going home for the holidays. Interestingly, in the two days before the wedding, my partner and I communicated the least since we first met because there were still many things to coordinate. As a result, on the night before the wedding, I found myself lying in bed with a sense of loneliness.
On the wedding day, as my teacher had advised, there were numerous details that could be noticed or ignored. Personally, I chose not to focus on them. As long as the wedding proceeded smoothly, the ultimate evaluation would be “satisfactory,” despite the many hiccups during the process.